You Gotta Have White Hair!

I got whiff of a recent trend in the Konami game, Castlevania. Unless you haven't heard by now, a majority of the new heroes have white hair. The artist Ayame Kojima must have a flair for hot punks with silvery white locks. But I also picked up another common thread. Ever notice how in the games wherein the heroes have white hair, Dracula (or some other penultimate enemy) surely got defeated? By "surely" I mean they kicked his butt hard and good, and effectively returned Vlad to his 100 years' slumber.

If so, then I have a brand new theory: the secret to the efficiency of a Vampire Hunter lies in his hair color! Think about it. Of all the heroes in the Akumajou Dracula universe, who were the ones who managed to put Drac down for the count for _good_? The guys with white hair, of course! Alucard (Nocturne in the Moonlight version), Nathan Graves (greyish hair, but close), Juste Belmont, Soma Cruz...that's four games with four guys who had the potential to become ridiculously broken, overpowered AND handsome to boot (I would've listed Hector, but Curse of Darkness isn't out yet). Who else could run around carrying the entire US armory in their cloaks without so much as even showing signs of fatigue? And when they fought through their games, they finished it real good, while in comparison their non-white haired counterparts did poorly! Why? Because they had white hair while their other compatriots didn't!

I mean, just think for a second. At some point in the Dracula novel, Jonathan Harker's hair turns white from despair. Later, after he and Quincey Morris dealt the finishing blows on Vlad, only one of them survived the final battle. Guess who it was. ;-)

And besides, consider the following:

1) Is this why Trevor Belmont had to rely on three (THREE! Do you know how much three is!?) Partner Spirits just to get through Transylvania and defeat the Count?

2) Is this why Simon got afflicted with a horrible curse and had to fight Dracula TWICE just to get rid of it?

3) Is this why Christopher didn't kill the Count outright on his first adventure (no pun intended), leading to the kidnapping of his son Soleiyu?

4) Is this why Richter Belmont got brainwashed by Shaft 5 years after he initially schooled the Count, turning him into a bad guy?

5) Is this why both Hugh Baldwin and Maxim Kischine weren't chosen to wield the Vampire Killer, and subsequently got twisted to serve the purposes of the Dark Side (TM) out of sheer jealousy?

6) Is this why neither the Genesis game "Bloodlines" nor the N64 games were even marginally successful compared to the other blockbusters?

7) Is this why Dracula had to steal Cornell's powers of lycanthropy in exchange for the release of the hapless werewolf's human sister?

8) Is this why Koji Igarashi thought of removing Sonia Belmont's game from the series' official timeline?

9) Is this why Julius Belmont lost his memory after sealing the Demon Castle in the sun and had to wait 30 long years for a white-haired exchange student to foil Graham Jones' plans and destroy the castle's chaotic essence?

10) Is this why Leon Belmont NEVER got to fight Matthias as the final boss?

11) Is this why Nathan Graves wasn't _too_ powerful in his GBA debut (remember, he had greyish hair)?

And lastly:

12) Is this why Dracula rises every 100 years??

If my assumptions are correct, then by all means...I'll force myself to forget about proper cranial ventilation, let my hair grow out until the end of the year and bleach it a snowy white. Then I'll gladly plunk myself into a coffin for a good, long rest until the year 2106 comes along or some cultist nutcase decides to disturb my beauty sleep.